Just another day for you....it's a different one for me

I wanted to talk about something else in my life. My last doctor I saw diagnosed me with depression...when he talked to me about it clinical depression was mentioned. I suffer every day, but if you met me on the streets you probably wouldn't know it. Sometimes with depression you have a few days here and there where you are sad and maybe you feel lonely...then you might have a few days where you are really happy! In general I am a happy person...I can feel happy in my heart and I can and do smile. What is different is that I have a lot more bad days than good. One positive thing about me though is that most of the time I can smile through the pain that lives inside my head. A lot of people think depression is just a made up excuse to be sad. Sometimes I cannot control my own emotions. I don't know about any of you, but being sad is not something that I think is fun! Depression isn't always just sadness either...sometimes it's a feeling that you are nonexistant or that you will never be anything good. Sometimes depression can bring dark thoughts. Sometimes you feel like a complete and utter failure. I myself have days where I will be driving and I'm happy...then suddenly I just fall into it and cry for no reason.

You might ask why I chose to talk about this! Well...trying to build a family and not having it happen can be a serious damper on depression. lol It can be a trigger for depression to begin a whole new cycle and start again over and over. Many people say don't stress and it will happen. I don't choose to be stressed it is something that comes along with the territory. A side note....studies have shown that stress is actually NOT a barrier to getting pregnant! I would say that I am very lucky to have a husband who understands that I'm going to be upset about this sometimes. Sometimes I wish he would show some emotion too, but then I remember he is a United States Marine trained to not show emotion! lol ;)

So...how can people help me? Be supportive! Please don't tell me not to stress because I am a stressed out person who stresses over every little thing in life! lol Please when I get sick don't ask me if I'm pregnant! Please be honest with me if any fertility tests I go through are going to hurt or not! lol Please understand I'm going to get upset about it sometimes and I might even say I'm done trying when I'm not. Support me! Smile! Hug Me! Share your stories with me! Share your pregnancy with me! Don't even be afraid to say I'm pregnant because I promise I am happy for others.