I'm a Champ and Ovacue giveaway!

So I had my HSG on 2/27/12! It wasn't too bad. I can't be too sure that it's not because I had valium to help me relax though! I had no pain during the actual procedure. There were some slight issues getting the catheter into my cervix due to having a small cervix. We got through it though by inflating the balloon a bit early! I had no cramping until I stood up from the table. The cramping didn't get back until all of the meds wore off and then it was pretty bad. In the end it was well worth it! I have no blocked tubes and my uterus, while tilted, is shaped as it is supposed to be! I had my follow-up with my doctor this morning. At this time she is going to let the 2000 mg dosage of metformin work for another 3 more months before we talk about Clomid! That is what I wanted to hear this morning! Also, our sperm analysis came back! Motility isn't perfect, but isn't considered infertile either! She didn't want to do anything for that since his number was at an ok level! Still...we talked and he agreed to try either fertilaid for men to increase motility or CoQ10! Nothing but good news today! Here's to hoping my next appointment with my doc is for OB instead of GYN!

Also...I have some good news! There is a giveaway for an ovacue monitor going on! Go here: http://lifelossandotherthings.blogspot.com/2012/03/giveaway-ovacue-fertility-monitor-with.html and follow the instructions!!! Tell them I sent you: Rhiannon.hartwell@yahoo.com

1in10: The newest nonprofit for PCOS!

So when I did my last entry I forgot to share the amazing news! A great group of women have started a nonprofit group for women who have PCOS and for those who support them! We have a facebook page and we are currently working on our website! We are going to announce our first giveaway tonight (2/24/12) if we reach 250 likes! We are so incredibly close! Please join me in liking 1in10 on facebook!

  https://www.facebook.com/1in10inc

I never thought....

When I was a little girl I always dreamed that one day I would become a mother. This summer I will be 29 years old and I have no children! I still dream about having a child, but I'm now facing the reality that I have to achieve that dream with the help of doctors. I never thought I would still be trying to have a child or that it would be such a long and hard journey. The reality is that life is not perfect and sometimes we have to fight for what we want or work harder. I am beginning to realize how real and hard I have to fight for myself. The journey isn't just about having a child anymore. It's also about staying sane and finding ways to stay happy. It's about learning to not be mad when other women get pregnant and I'm still childless. It's also about learning to help my husband through this. I'm past the point of anger towards pregnant women or those with babies. They are not to blame for my struggles. My husband; however, is just reaching that point where it upsets him to see others pregnant. He will either get to where I'm at too or hopefully he will have a child of his own! :) The journey includes a team of doctors. I'm blessed to have an amazing physician who sat down with me and listened to my concerns. She also pointed me in the right direction for an amazing ob/gyn! My ob/gyn was kind enough to lay out the plan for me instead of leaving me blind! Right now I'm on metformin. Monday I have my HSG to check for blocked tubes and clear out anything inside my tubes that shouldn't be there! Once that is over then we will begin Clomid also. Hopefully that works for us. If not we are off to see a fertility specialist for shots, IUI's, or IVF's.

Another part of my journey is trying to figure out where I fit in with this big world. My friends are all becoming mommies while I seem to be left behind. I often see people saying congratulations and welcome to the club when someone gets pregnant. Welcome to the club is the hardest to see. It makes me feel more left behind than ever. It makes me wonder if I'm just not cool enough to get pregnant and be in the club. I'm saying that in a metaphorically way. We all know I'm cool enough right! ;) lol But really this is very hurtful to see/hear. Anyways...that's really all I have for now!

Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

So I'm starting my 30 day challenge (Thanks Wendy!), but they will be spread out instead of just within 30 days! Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1.) I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
2.) I am working with some amazing ladies on a Nonprofit organization called 1in10
3.) I have a horrible memory
4.) I'm obsessed with Dr. Oz and The Doctors
5.) I have a hard time with memory
6.) I married a US Marine
7.) I love love love to read! Anything from books about PCOS and fertility to Karen Kingsbury
8.) If I don't get to see The Vow soon I might cry
9.) I love to try new recipes, but don't do it a lot
10.) I would love to own my own shop where I sell homemade items
11.) I have high cholesterol
12.) I love to play in the snow
13.) I sleep on the couch when my husband works 3rd shift because I'm afraid of the dark
14.) Some of my best friends are women I have never met in person
15.) I'm really silly and I'm always dancing around and in fact danced to the halftime show during Superbowl!

Joining in on the 30 day challenge....just might not be posting it every day!

30 Days of Me Challenge

Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02 - The meaning behind your Blog name

Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends

Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have

Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you've been to

Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why

Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09 - Something you're proud of in the past few days

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12 - How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle:  First 10 songs that play

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18 - Plan/dreams/goals you have

Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot

Day 24 - A letter to your parents

Day 25 - What I would find in your bag

Day 26 - What you think about your friends

Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30 - Your favorite song.

More news...

There is so much going on right now! I will start off with my PCOS! I met my new OB/GYN on 2/2/12 and she is amazing! I felt like I was THE patient instead of one of many patients. I'm beginning to feel really amazing about my team of doctors! I have a wonderful PCP and now OB/GYN! Anyways, Dr. raised my metformin to 2000 mg and wouldn't you know! Side effects again! Not near as bad as when I first started the metformin, but I have them. I don't really mind it now since I'm used to having them. My dr. is also going to add Clomid during my next cycle. On top of that we scheduled my HSG for 2/27/12. As I think most women do, I am praying that my pregnancy test before the procedure is positive ;) lol Wouldn't that be a nice surprise! Anyways, adding Clomid and having the HSG done gives me hope! I know some of you may read this and think HSG? What is that? Basically they will shoot die into my tubes to check for blockages. This can help some women get pregnant soon after! We are hoping to be that couple! I know our parents are all waiting for more grandkids and are pulling for it also.

Let's see what else is going on right now....Ohhhhh 1in10 goes live on Valentine's Day! What's that also? That is the nonprofit organization that a few ladies and I have been working on! I am super excited! 1in10 is an NPO regarding Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which is what I have! I will give a lot more information once we go live! Be on the lookout!

Other news: My nephew is 14 months old and walking now! I can't wait to see him again. It's a bummer we live 3 hours from them. Also, my niece will be 1 in less than 2 weeks! I can't believe they are both growing so fast. I don't really have any other news, but I hopefully I get to blog about some really great news soon! Thank you to everyone who has provided support!

Another new start

On Christmas we found out we were in fact NOT yet pregnant. It's beginning to feel like a far off dream. A dream that I know somehow, some way we will attain; just not yet. I guess it's just not our time. I see many young girls getting pregnant all around me and I can't help but wonder why them and why not me? I think that is just a natural reaction when dealing with infertility. Despite another failed month, my husband and I continue to keep pushing ahead, hoping each month this is it. With this past attempt came a new hope! I am slowly going from 1000 mg of metformin to 2000 mg. Right now I'm sitting at 1500 and I will do that for 4 weeks to let my body adjust. I would do it for just 2 weeks and raise it, but I had a really hard time with side effects when I first started on it and I want to keep those away. So it's been a few days on 1500 mg. and so far so good. I am having slight stomach cramps (ok they really aren't so slight, they hurt a lot) that only last about 15 minutes! I am still getting headaches, but at this time I don't want to go on medication for that also just in case I do end up pregnant! I should probably get used to taking the least amount of medicine now huh! lol Oh anyways...in addition to the higher dosage I will be meeting my new OB/GYN on February 2nd! I am really excited and I've heard great things about her! According to my PCP (Primary care physician) my new OB/GYN is looking to also start us on Clomid which will also help my body ovulate! I'm very excited to start this, but I am hoping to go into my appointment and find out we won't be needing that after all ;) lol This will be a new road and another new medication adjustment! I also have been doing research and am finding that ovulation problems are one of the easiest fertility issues to work with!

I also want to give a shout out to my girls! A while ago my friend and I formed an online support group for women who are trying to conceive or who are pregnant! Aside from my husband without these girls I do not know where I would be right now! When I feel like giving up or I'm curled up on my couch crying I know I have people to turn to who get it. They are in the same fight that I am! These women are amazing. I can't say enough about them. We all understand every tear that falls and every frustration that hits the group. We don't have to feel it alone because we all share it the same! We have women who have battled through it and have babies or will be having babies soon! They give us the hope that we need! I just want to tell each and every couple out there sitting in my shoes right now to Keep the Hope! Don't give up no matter how hard it gets!

With that said I wrote something that sort of gets my feelings out there and I want to share it!

The next time you are complaining how tired you are because your baby keeps you up at night, or how sore you are from feeding your child...how about when you are complaining your toddler won't listen to you? Remember your friend or coworker or even the stranger next to you listening to you vent would long for those sleepless nights, sore boobs, and a bratty child if it meant for just once she could experience every little feeling you are going through at that very moment. Yet she keeps silent. She wears a smile on her face as if she understands. She would give her own life if it meant providing her husband with a child...this is the women who so unselfishly attends every baby shower and shows up the night you are in labor. You don't know this women by just looking at he...r because infertility is a silent disease. Inside this women she is full of being "messed up" and even deeper is a heart so giving that she puts herself aside for those who take parenting for granted. She walks around with a smile on her face, but inside she is aching and at times feels like she is slowly dying. She gets prodded, poked, and stuck almost monthly and she knows no privacy. Not a single part of her body is off limits to doctors and TMI is a thing of the past. She wears her smile on the outside and tears flow on the inside. But you would never know who she is; she wears the layers of a silent disease -Rhiannon Snyder

"For this child we will pray"